100 Reflections Looking Beyond 46
It’s been awhile since I posted anything, my chronic illnesses have gotten the best of me. (100 Reflections Looking Beyond 46) As my 46th birthday hits me this week, I’m forced to face my age and what I really want for my future. As I look back at everything in my past, the good, the bad, the ugly and the stuff I will never speak of or think of again past this point in life, I reflect on what’s really important. To be honest the only things that are important are my children, and that they are healthy and happy. For myself I have decided to wear my scars proudly and walk with my head held high. Nobody is perfect, we are not pictures that can be photo finished (nor do I want to be). We are filled with beautiful flaws, which make us who we are. We are all warriors, fighting battles no one will ever see or know about each and every day. As I turn 46 this week and embrace an unknown future, I look forward to discovering what life has in store for me, I look forward to seeing what surprises await me as I turn a new corner in life. I have lost my claims with my long term disability because I didn’t have $10,000 to file a federal lawsuit (per the ERISA law) that protects big insurance companies and punishes hard working disabled Americans (but I’m working to change that law ), but I can’t change that and life must go on. I’m just not sure how yet, but I have faith that things will work out somehow. I believe I’m where i was supposed to be at this moment in time, I may never understand it but life goes on…I’ve learned that no matter how hard we try somethings can’t be changed they just must be lived. I’m still fighting for my SSDI, but they keep saying I’m too young, educated and a bunch of other bullshit (illnesses don’t discriminate) I have written every elected official in OHIO, and have only heard from a few to tell my story and bring about changes to laws, policies and programs that are causing unneeded suffering of the disabled and even increase suicide rates. I have even written the Whitehouse for years, nobody cares there either. I know what I want and dream of for my future, but I also know I must be open to whatever comes my way and make the best out of it. I will continue to live my life on my terms, trying to do the right things to help others wherever I can.
Now I look at my future like a blank canvas and look forward to my unknown future and the pictures, people, colors, feeling and experiences yet to paint upon that canvas. I have a 100 reflections I wish to have within the mirror and pray, that will help keep me positive and give me strength to continue my unknown future journey. Life is a balance between the loss of everything and the beginning of everything and living somewhere in between.
1. What do you do every day?
2. Do what you’re capable of doing each day.
3. Do what you believe is right.
4. Give even when you have nothing but your time.
5. Smile when you want to cry.
6. Know your worth.
7. Live for today.
8. You are not your past.
9. Dream big.
10. Try your hardest.
11. Love, even when you know it will never be returned.
12. Walk away from whatever makes you upset or cry.
13. Grow every day.
14. Learn something new every day.
15. Read something new every week.
16. Go somewhere you have never been before.
17. Don’t worry about others approvals in life.
18. Fall, but get back up again.
19. Fail, yet try again.
20. Rest when you’re tired.
21. Heal when you sick.
22. Hug someone, it could save their life.
23. Talk to a stranger.
24. Hold a door open for someone.
25. Help someone.
26. Feed the hungry.
27. Help shelter the homeless, be part of the solution.
28. Heal the sick.
29. Write a book.
30. Paint a picture.
31. Go on a road trip.
32. Take a hike on a path unknown to you.
33. Change directions when needed.
34. Be abnormal Be whatever you are.
35. Do what’s right, even when nobody is watching.
36. Carry a bag for a stranger.
37. Feed a stray.
38. Lend a hand to someone in need.
39. Don’t explain your actions to anybody (you don’t need too).
40. be someone’s hero.
41. Smile at someone.
42. Buy a meal for someone.
43. Volunteer (anywhere for anything).
44. Plant extra fruit trees, vegetable plants, herbs to giveaway to food banks or friends and family in need.
45. Hug a tree.
46. Walk the beach.
47. Go for a swim.
48. Go outside, even when you just want to hide.
49. Wish for better.
50. Find happiness with what you have been given.
51. Find religion, faith, spirit (whatever brings you comfort).
52. Get a make-over.
53. Put on some make-up (lipstick).
54. Never be ashamed of who and what you are.
55. Heal yourself through natural pathways.
56. Try something new.
57. Be a leader.
58. Inspire someone.
59. Make a list of thing you what in life.
60. Keep a Journal.
61. Cook a meal or Bake a cake with your family.
62. Be an anchor in someone’s life.
63. Set new goals.
64. Get out of bed, even when you want to die.
65. Don’t give up even when it looks impossible.
66. Be proud of your accomplishments.
67. Talk to yourself when needed.
68. Listen to your inner voice.
69. Walk alone if need be.
70. Be a doer.
71. Be a changer.
72. Don’t just blindly follow.
73. Everyone has a purpose in life, find yours.
74. Know that not everyone will find true love, some are meant to walk alone. That’s ok own that shit…
75. Take a picture.
76. Take a leap of faith.
77. Find the meaning in simple things in life.
78. Find that connection with yourself.
79. Put your own health first, you’re no good sick.
80. Heal from within.
81. Know it’s ok to cry.
82. Getting lost can lead us to where we are meant to be.
83. Donate your time, it cost nothing.
84. Make a new friend.
85. Find a new hobby.
86. Ride a bike.
87. Turn off the TV.
88. Listen to different types of music.
89. Listen to nature.
90. Let your wall down, it will be ok.
91. Do something uncomfortable.
92. Get a new haircut.
93. Kiss your children.
94. Tell your family and friend you love them.
95. Go to the Park.
96. Read poetry.
97. Learn Folklore from around the world.
98. Believe in fairy tales and the impossible.
99. Stop searching and start living.
100. Every night if you can look at your reflection in the mirror, you know you are doing the right things in life. It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks just what you think of yourself.
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Leave a comment and let me know what you’re doing to live your dreams and enjoy your journey in life.